We watch a lot of television. Since the acquisition of our PVR (or personal video recorder, for those who aren’t tech savvy (like me, before we got the PVR, and Andy and Mike made fun of me because I didn’t know what it was)) we have been much more selective about what we watch, and when. While it’s handy to record shows and watch them at our leisure, it has also taken some of the fun out of viewing and turned it, on occasion, into more of a chore.
Take this week: We were away last week, but the PVR has been programmed to record everything in our absence (it only stops when it’s full- like with twelve thousand hours of captured tripe). Modern technology- who’d a thunk it? So, we got home, and have spent every evening since “catching up”- like the world would cease to turn if we missed an episode of CSI. (or Two and a Half Men, or Bones, or the Mentalist, blah blah blah.) I enjoy most of these shows, but I feel quite free to leave the room if I don’t want to watch. One big attraction is that we can skip through the commercials, although a certain husband is not very quick with the remote, and quite often has to backtrack to where the actual show picks up (and how do I know what to buy if I can’t watch commercials? Advertisers must hate PVR’s.). Another advantage is that you can pause the TV any time, and until this week our favourite place to pause has been the Chuck Lorre vanity cards at the end of Two and a Half Men and my current favourite show, the Big Bang Theory. These are the last screen of the show, and are only visible for one or two seconds. I suspected for a long time that they were each different, so when we started pausing them long enough to read, we found that they are quite funny; right up the twisted alleyways that are this family’s senses of humour. Well, night before last the big light bulb went on over my head and I thought “I bet these are online.” Sure enough, a quick check of “Chuck Lorre” and I hit the motherlode.
This is the very first one Chuck shared with us, and there have literally been hundreds since:
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS
Thank you for videotaping “Dharma & Greg” and freeze-framing on my vanity card. I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you some of my personal beliefs. I believe that everyone thinks they can write. This is not true. It is true, however, that everyone can direct. I believe that the Laws of Karma do not apply to show business, where good things happen to bad people on a fairly regular basis. I believe that what doesn’t kill us makes us bitter. I believe that the obsessive worship of movie, TV and sports figures is less likely to produce spiritual gain than praying to Thor. I believe that Larry was a vastly underrated Stooge, without whom Moe and Curly could not conform to the comedy law of three (thanks, Lee). I believe my kids are secretly proud of me. I believe that if you can’t find anything nice to say about people whom you’ve helped to make wildly successful and then they stabbed you in the back, then don’t say anything at all. I believe I have a great dog, maybe the greatest dog in the whole wide world, yes, he is! I believe that beer is a gateway drug that leads, inevitably, to vodka and somebody oughta do something about it. I believe that when ABC reads this, I’m gonna be in biiiig trouble. I believe that Tina Turner’s “River Deep, Mountain High”, is the greatest rock song ever recorded. Once again, thanks for watching “Dharma & Greg”. Please be sure to tune in again to this vanity card for more of my personal beliefs.
1st Aired: 24 Sept 2007
If you check any of these out, and find that they don’t make you at least smile, and then you think that “Judy has a really stupid sense of humour”, please keep it to yourself. I like to live with the delusion that I am smart and funny, and that I appreciate funny, and I would be heartbroken to find out otherwise. (You know when you hear that every family has a black sheep or strange person in it, and you examine your own family, and you can’t figure out who the black sheep or strange person is, and then you start wondering if it is, in fact you? That’s where I sit.)
Anyways, I hope this brings a smile to your face, or at least a feeling of superiority. Have a nice weekend.
Oh yeah. I almost forgot. I wove a scarf.
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